在大约1-12岁的群体中，许多小孩对毛绒玩偶表现出明显的依恋，毛绒玩偶被小孩赋予了生命，和它一起睡觉，和它聊天，在它面前哭泣，告诉它一些永远不会告诉别人的事情，由此孩子的一部分”自我“学会了照顾另一部分”自我“。而现实中，很少有人能够聆听我们的忧伤，能够以我们希望的方式友善地对待我们，而毛绒玩具是帮助我们学会照顾自己的重要工具。
Sometimes you can catch important things about human nature in apparent incidentals. It’s well observed that between the ages of around one and twelve, many children manifest a deep attachment to a stuffed soft object, normally shaped into a bear, a rabbit or – less often – a penguin. The depth of the relationship can be extraordinary. The child sleeps with it, talks to it, cries in front of it and tells it things it would never tell anyone else. What’s truly remarkable is that the animal looks after its owner, addressing him in a tone of unusual maturity and kindness. It might, in a crisis, urge the child not to worry so much and to look forward to better times in the future. But naturally, the animal’s character is entirely made up. The animal is simply something invented, or brought to life by one part of the child, in order to look after the other.
有时候，你可以从一些明显琐碎的事情上洞察到关于人性的重要信息。我们可以观察到，在大约1-12岁的群体中，许多小孩对毛绒玩偶表现出明显的依恋，这些毛绒玩偶通常是熊、兔子，或者比较少见的企鹅的形状。小孩和毛绒玩偶之间的关系的深度非同寻常。小孩子和它一起睡觉，和它聊天，在它面前哭泣，还会告诉它一些永远不会告诉别人的事情。真正值得注意的是，这个动物玩偶会用一种异常成熟并且和善的语气对小主人说话，照顾它的主人。它可能在危机中会宽慰孩子不要太担心，要抱有希望，期待未来会更好。不过，小动物这个角色自然是虚构出来的。这个小动物只是被创造出来的，或者是由孩子的一部分“自我”为了照顾另一部分“自我”而被小孩赋予了生命。
The English psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott was the first person to write seriously and with sensitivity about the business of teddy bears. In a paper from the early 1960s, Winnicott described a boy of six – whose parents had been deeply abusive to him – becoming very connected to a small animal his grandmother had given him. Every night, he would have a dialogue with the animal, would hug him close to his chest and shed a few tears into his stained and greying soft fur. It was his most precious possession, for which he would have given up everything else. As the boy summarised the situation to Winnicott: ‘No one else can understand me like bunny can.’
英国精神分析学家唐纳德·温尼科特是第一位撰写严肃文章认真分析泰迪熊作用的人。在20世纪60年代初的一篇论文中，温尼科特描述了一个六岁的男孩，他的父母曾对他进行过严重的虐待，后来他就和祖母送给他的动物玩偶变得十分亲密。每天晚上，他都会和动物玩偶对话，把它抱在胸前，依偎在它变脏发灰的绒毛上流下泪水。这个动物玩偶是他最宝贵的财产，为了它，小男孩愿意放弃一切。正如小男孩向温尼科特概述的那样：“没有人能像这个小兔子玩偶一样理解我。”
What fascinated Winnicott was that it was of course the boy who had invented the rabbit, given him his identity, his voice and his way of addressing him. The boy was speaking to himself – via the bunny – in a voice filled with an otherwise all too-rarely present compassion and sympathy. Though it sounds a little odd, speaking to ourselves is common practice throughout our lives. Often, when we do so, the tone is harsh and punitive. We upbraid ourselves for being losers, time-wasters or perverts. But, as Winnicott knew, mental well-being depends on having to hand a repertoire of more gentle, forgiving and hopeful inner voices. To keep going, there are moments when one side of the mind needs to say to the other that the criticism is enough: that it understands, that this could happen to anyone, that one could not have known…It is this kind of indispensable benevolent voice that the child first starts to rehearse and exercise with the help of a stuffed animal.
吸引温尼科特的是，当然，这位男孩创造了小兔子，为小兔子赋予身份、声音以及对自己讲话的方式。这位男孩通过小兔子玩偶对自己讲话，声音里饱含怜悯和同情，而这种怜悯和同情在其他情况下很少出现。虽然听起来有点奇怪，不过和自己对话是我们生活中常见的行为。当我们对自己讲话时，语气通常严厉又苛刻。我们责备自己一事无成，浪费时间，行为反常。不过，正如温尼科特所知的，心理健康依赖于必须用一种更温和、更宽容、更充满希望的内在声音去表达。为了坚持下去，有时我们心中的一个自我会对另一个自我说：“批评得够多了，它能理解，这可能发生在任何人身上，谁能想到……” 孩子们在毛绒玩偶的帮助下开始练习并运用的正是这种不可或缺的和善声音。
In adolescence, animals tend to get put away. They become embarrassing, evoking a vulnerability we’re keen to escape from. But, to follow Winnicott, if our development has gone well, what was trialled in the presence of a stuffed animal should continue all of our lives – because, by definition, we will frequently be let down by the people around us, who won’t be able to understand us, won’t listen to our griefs and won’t be kind to us in the manner we crave and require. Every healthy adult should therefore possess a capacity for self-nurture: that is, for retreating to a safe secluded space and speaking in a tone that’s gentle, encouraging and infinitely forgiving.
在青春期，动物玩偶往往会被收起来。这些小动物变得令人尴尬，会让我们回想起我们一直想要逃避的脆弱感。不过，按照温尼科特的建议，如果我们发展良好，毛绒玩偶存在时所试验的内容应该在我们的生活中继续下去，因为我们会频繁地因为周围的人感到失望，他们不理解我们，不会聆听我们的忧伤，不会以我们希望的方式友善地对待我们。因此，每个健康的成年人都应该具备自我照顾的能力，即让自己回归到一个安全隐蔽的空间，用温柔、鼓励并且无限宽容的语气和自己对话。
That we don’t formally label the understanding self ‘white rabbit’ or ‘yellow bear’ shouldn’t obscure the debt that the nurturing adult self owes to its earlier embodiment in a furry toy. A good adult life requires us to see the links between our strengths and our regressive childlike states. Being properly mature demands a gracious accommodation with what could seem embarrassing or humiliatingly vulnerable. We should honour stuffed animals for what they really are: tools to help us on our first steps in the vital business of knowing how to look after ourselves.
虽然我们不会正式地给宽容体贴的自我贴上“小白兔”或“小黄熊”的标签，不过这不应该否定成年后能照顾自己的自我得益于毛绒玩偶的早期化身。良好的成年生活需要我们看到自己的优势与童年状态之间的联系。适度的成熟需要亲切地包容那些看起来令人尴尬或者感到羞耻的脆弱事物。我们应该尊重毛绒玩偶的真正价值：它们是帮助我们学会照顾自己的工具，让我们在这个重要的事情上迈出了第一步。
By: The School of Life
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