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中国自古以来的传统是对待国际关系如同个人关系，而且提倡“君子喻于义”。
这一理念完全不同于西方的国际关系理念：只有永恒的利益、没有永恒的朋友。
也就是说，西方的国际关系理念正好等于中国所反对的“小人喻于利”。
（我的翻译是“friendship of gentlemen is based on honor whereas that of the opposite based on financial interests”）。
我国应该推广“君子喻以义”的国际关系理念，但在推广成功之前需要注意其他国家不会这么做。
对现代英国外交有关键影响的两位首相，无疑是十九世纪的巴麦尊和二十世纪的丘吉尔。
在中国以发动鸦片战争而恶名昭彰的巴麦尊，英文Henry John Palmerston（1784-1865 ）。他提出英国外交的准则：我们没有永恒的朋友，我们没有永恒的敌人。我们的利益是永恒的，我们的责任是追逐那些利益。
这一理念到二战后再度被英国首相丘吉尔所强调：没有永恒的朋友,也没有永恒的敌人,只有永恒的盈利。
英国在他们两位之间的时期对世界影响巨大，他们的理念成为西方外交的根本信念。这种信念，在中国传统文化不存在，而且是中国传统价值观一直作为反面进行批评的对象，因为它就是“小人喻以利”。
绝大多数中国人不能理解英国推出的现代西方国际交往准则，而经常一厢情愿地把利益关系看成友谊，一再在现代世界碰的鼻青脸肿。把某国叫成老大哥、认为某个关系是鲜血凝成的友谊...遭遇一个个翻脸不认人。
这一根本不同，是中外误解的主要原因之一。
一百八十五年来，中国努力寻找国际上的真朋友。每一次我们认为找到了，都是我们的一厢情愿，而对方总是要经济或战略利益，无论是苏联、朝鲜、越南、阿尔巴尼亚，还是美国。
过去，中国太穷、也被认为太弱。中国只能学习世界、试图融入外部已有世界秩序，因为没有国家会听一个穷国的，更不可能接受中国“ 喻于义 ”的国际关系准则。那会被其他国家认为是笑话、或被视为穷国逐利的雕虫小技。
一个笑话是中国在1950至1970年代那么穷的时期，居然大量经济援助阿尔巴尼亚。中国认为是道义上的朋友（“欧洲社会主义的明灯”），而阿尔巴尼亚从来认为当然是利益的交换。中国最后认为不能承受而在1978年左右停止了。
今天美国极力主张自己利益至上，还不是接受“君子喻以义”的时候。但可以试试让欧洲知道中国处理国际关系犹如欧洲任何理性的人处理个人关系，认同国际关系也应该“君子喻以义”。
建立在永恒利益为国际关系基础上的世界，是不稳定的世界，因为贪婪的利益和万变的结盟带来经常的冲突。
建立在中国传统“喻于义”价值观为国际关系基础的世界，才是更和平、更仁爱、更友好、更繁荣的世界。
Let’s hope that some Europeans understand China and advise their leaders that: China is sensitive at such moments. If China feels respected and true friendship, China will repay friendship in need with much more than expected.
China’s tradition from ancient times is to use the same criteria for international relationship and interpersonal relationship, which is “君子喻于义小人喻于利 friendship of gentlemen is based on honorable principles whereas that of the opposite based on financial interests”.
This is fundamentally different from the Western tradition of international relationship in which there is no permanent friendship only permanent interests.
This fundamental difference is one major source of misunderstanding between China and the rest of the world.
China was trying to find true friendship over the past 185 years. Every time we thought we had found one, it turned out to be wishful thinking on our side, while the other side was always looking for financial gains or strategic gains, the Soviet Union, Korea, Vietnam, Albania, and the US.
In the past, China was poor and viewed as weak. China could only try to learn and fit into the existing world order because no other country would listen to a poor country and even less likely to accept the Chinese idea of honor-based international relationship. It would have been considered as a joke or a trick to beg for money by a poor country.
One ridiculous example was that China provided much financial aid to Albania when China was poor from the 1950s to the 1970s. China thought that Albania was a friend based on common causes while Albania thought that of course it was based on Chinese money. China finally decided we could not afford it and cut it off in 1978.
The difference may remain but it is time that Europe knows Chinese view of international relationship as the same as any rational European view of personal relationship.
A world based on permanent interests in international relationship is an unstable world, of shifting conflicts caused by shifting interests and alliances.
A world based on the traditional Chinese values of honor and justice in international relationship is a world, much more peaceful, kinder, gentler and prosperous.
It is impossible at the moment to get Americans to listen to the fundamental idea underlying Chinese tradition of diplomacy, when the US is obsessed with maintaining its own dominance, despite the fact shown by history again and again that no country can dominate the world forever.
The best wish is for China and Europe to look at their (and our) histories and accept that fact and decide to build a world based on honor.
Palmerston: We have no eternal allies, and we have no perpetual enemies. Our interests are eternal and perpetual, and those interests it is our duty to follow.
Churchill: Neither friends nor rivals are everlasting，but only profits.
英国Benjamin Disraeli（1804-1881）：一个国家没有永恒的朋友，只有永恒的利益（A country does not have permanent friends, only permanent interests）。