The business of living can be complicated by a particularly exhausting habit: our tendency to question our judgements with the passage of time. What had originally seemed like a clear-cut and soundly-based decision can – after a few weeks or months – come under fresh scrutiny, and inspire intense doubt, regret, shame, insomnia and at points, hurried attempts to reverse a decision.生活本来就够复杂的了，可偏偏还被一种特别令人疲惫的习惯所拖累：我们倾向于随着时间的推移去质疑自己的判断。最开始觉得特别明智、特别有把握的决定，可能在几周、几个月之后，就会受到新的审视，然后就陷入自我怀疑、后悔、羞愧，晚上失眠，甚至有时候还会匆忙推翻之前的决定。For example, a few months ago, it seemed absolutely right to end our relationship. We had the partner’s faults clearly in view and we were certain that these made any sensible plans for the future untenable. But now we’re no longer so sure.比如，几个月前，我们觉得分手是绝对正确的决定。我们把对方的缺点看得清清楚楚，觉得这些缺点让两个人的未来根本没办法继续。可现在，我们又开始动摇，不再那么确定了。We’ve been on a few dates and they didn’t go too well. We’ve been by ourselves a lot and as we’ve been doing the laundry or walking around the park, we’ve started to remember how funny and clever, sweet and tender our ex could be. We’re wondering whether we should, despite our original recommendation that neither of us should be in touch for a while, perhaps send them a falsely innocent text tonight.我们出去约会了几次，但遇到的人都不太对。最近自己独自一人的时间比较多，比如洗衣服或者在公园溜达的时候，就开始想起前任那些好的地方，比如他/她有多幽默、多聪明，还有多体贴。于是我们就在想，是不是该违背我们之前说好的“暂时不联系”，今晚给他/她发一条看起来很无辜的短信。Or, last summer, we knew we didn’t have a particularly good time at the beach side resort and vowed to stick to a cooler climate next time. But since then the weather has turned very cold and just recently, we’re finding ourselves curious about returning south next year.再比如，去年夏天，我们在海边度假村过得不太好，当时就决定下次要去个凉快点的地方。结果现在天气转变得特别冷，最近我们又开始琢磨，明年是不是再去一趟南方呢？Or we told ourselves that we were fully done with a particular career. But we’ve been reflecting on matters since and happened to bump into an old colleague last week – and are now wondering whether we shouldn’t maybe make another attempt.比如，我们觉得自己已经完全放弃了之前的那份工作，肯定不会再回头了。但后来一直在想这件事，上周又碰见了一位老同事，现在又开始犹豫，说不定可以再回去试试呢。Or a friend from university has suggested a meal. We found them rather self-centred and dull when we last saw them a decade ago, but they sounded sparky in their invitation and we’ve agreed to meet them for lunch near the station next week.比如，一位大学时期的朋友提议一起吃顿饭。上次见面还是十年前，当时觉得这位朋友挺自我、挺无趣的。但他这次约的时候听起来还挺有意思，于是我们就答应下周在车站附近一起吃个午饭。In such instances, it can be useful to keep a broad principle in mind. The further away we stand from the moment when we took a decision, the more our judgement is likely to be clouded and corrupted. 在这种时候，最好记住一个简单的道理：我们距离做决定的那个时间越远，我们的判断就越有可能变得模糊不清，甚至被扭曲。And this is because of a feature of our minds that – in most areas – serves us extremely well: our capacity to let go of pain. The very faculty that means we can effectively mourn the death of a pet or a loved one or get over a bankruptcy or endure a drop in income also means that we are likely to revise our views of an ex we worked very sensibly to eject from our lives or that will know within five minutes of remeeting an acquaintance that they are as maddening as they ever were.这是因为我们的大脑有一个特别厉害的功能：能放下痛苦。正是大脑的这种能力让我们能够有效地哀悼宠物或亲人的离世、从破产中恢复过来、忍受收入的减少。但反过来，这项功能也会让我们重新去想那些我们曾经明智地甩掉的前任，或者在再次见面后的五分钟内就很快意识到，那个熟人还是那么让人头疼。We pick apart and dissolve our judgements because we cannot keep a clear eye on the powerful incentives we come under to do so; because we don’t notice how indigestible certain truths have become. We abdicate to doubt under intolerable, irrepressible degrees of loneliness and sadness, isolation and confusion. Of course, we’re going to start to question our views of our ex’s strengths and weaknesses after seven weekends substantially on our own being humiliated on dating apps. Of course, we won’t remember our friend’s dispiriting character when we would so love to have a flourishing social life.我们总是轻易动摇自己的判断，因为我们根本没意识到那些让我们动摇的“诱惑”有多强大，也没察觉到有些真相已经变得让人难以接受。当孤独、悲伤、孤立和困惑压得我们喘不过气时，我们很容易就开始怀疑自己。比如，一个人在家度过了七个周末，还在约会软件上被打击得体无完肤，肯定就会忍不住去重新琢磨前任到底是不是真的那么糟糕。又比如，当一个人特别渴望有个热闹的社交圈时，就会很容易忘记某个朋友那些让自己不舒服的性格。When we wake up and wonder if we have been unfair or hasty, the sternest, most reasonable part of us should know to grab the controls and ask whether a revision to our views is likely to be accurate or simply convenient. Despite all the pressures we are under to believe otherwise, we should place our faith in the wisdom of a well-worn dictum: trust what you knew then, not what you feel now.当我们早上醒来，开始纠结自己是不是曾经太不公平或者太冲动了的时刻，我们内心那个最严厉、最理智的部分应该站出来管管自己，问问自己：我们是不是真的要改主意，还是只是因为现在这样更方便？不管现在有多少声音让我们怀疑当初的决定，我们都应该相信一条老生常谈但很有道理的话：相信你当初的判断，而不是你现在的感觉。By: The School of Life翻译：无敌的良哥
