我们大多数人最渴望的就是“安全”，并且把安全望寄托在一系列不断变化的目标上：一段幸福的关系，一套房，一份稳定的工作，社会声誉，一定数额的财富等，我们拥有了这些，我们才相信，才可以安心，但从本质上来说这是不可能的，只要我们活着，我们就会对危险保持警惕，同时也会处于某种危险之中。What most of us long for above all else is ‘security’, the sense that we are – at last – safe on the earth. We pin our hopes for security on a shifting array of targets: a happy relationship, a house, children, a good profession, public respect, a certain sum of money…When these are ours, we fervently believe we will finally be at peace. We may mock the term ‘happily ever after,’ synonymous as it is with naive children’s literature, but in practice, we do indeed tend to live as if we could one day, somewhere over the horizon reach a place of rest, satisfaction and safety. 我们大多数人最渴望的就是“安全”，一种我们在这个地球上终于不会受到伤害的感觉。我们把安全的希望寄托在一系列不断变化的目标上：一段幸福的关系，房子，孩子，一份好的工作，社会声誉，一定数额的钱。当我们拥有了这些，我们才相信，我们可以安心。我们可能会嘲笑“从此幸福快乐”这种说法，因为它通常出现在儿童文学中，但事实上，我们确实倾向于这样的生活，就好像我们有一天可以在地平线之上找到一个可以放松，满足且安全的容身之地。也因此，我们有必要试着去理解为什么“永远”幸福从本质上来说是不可能的。It’s therefore worth trying to understand why happiness ‘ever after’ should be congenitally so impossible. It isn’t that we can’t ever have a good relationship, a house or a pension. We may well have all this – and more. It’s simply that these won’t be able to deliver what we hope for from them. We will still worry in the arms of a kind and interesting partner; we will still fret in a well-appointed kitchen; our terrors won’t cease whatever income we have. It can sound implausible – especially when such goods are still very far out of our grasp, but we should trust this fundamental truth in order to make an honest peace with some rather forbidding facts about the human condition. 这并不是说我们不能有一段很好的关系，不能有房子或退休金。我们可以拥有所有这些-甚至更多-只是因为它们无法提供我们希望从中找到的东西。在一个善良有趣的伴侣的怀抱里，我们仍然避免不了担心；在一切应有尽有的厨房里，我们还是会烦躁；无论我们有多少收入，恐惧都不会停止。这听起来难以置信，尤其是当我们还没能实现这一切的时候，但我们应该相信这个基本的事实，以与人类状态中这一严酷的事实：We can never properly be secure, because so long as we are alive, we will be alert to danger and in some way expose to risk. The only people with full security are the dead; the only people who can be truly at peace are under the ground; cemeteries are the only definitively calm places around. There is a certain nobility in coming to accept this fact – and the unending nature of worry in our lives. We should both recognise the intensity of our desire for a happy endpoint and at the same time acknowledge the inbuilt reasons why it cannot be ours. 我们永远不能完全安全，达成真诚的和平。因为只要我们活着，我们就会对危险保持警惕，同时也会处于某种危险之中。只有死人才会完全的安全，真正能够永远平和的人长眠在地下。坟墓是唯一让人绝对平静的地方。接受这一事实，接受我们生活中会有无休止的忧虑是一种崇高的品质。我们都应该认识到，我们对幸福终点有着强烈的渴望，同时也要承认我们不可能拥有它的内在原因。We need to give up on what we can term ‘the Arrival Fallacy,’ the conviction that there might be such a thing as a destination, in the sense of a stable position beyond which we will no longer suffer, crave and dread. The feeling that there must be such a point of arrival begins in childhood, with a longing for certain toys; then the destination shifts, perhaps to love, or career. Other popular destinations include children, family, fame, retirement or even after the novel is published.我们应该放弃我们称之为“到达谬误”的想法，即相信可能会有这样一个归宿之类的地方，作为一个稳定的位置，踏入这一位置之后我们将不再痛苦，渴望和恐惧。这种一定会有这样一个到达点的感觉始于童年时代，伴随着对某些玩具的渴望，然后渴望的归宿会变化，也许变成爱情，或者事业，其他比较普遍的归宿还有孩子和家庭，名气，退休，甚至是一本小说的出版完成。It isn’t that such places don’t exist. It’s just that they aren’t places we can pull up at, settle in, feel adequately sheltered by and never want to leave again. None of these zones is going to afford us a sense that we have properly arrived. We will soon enough discover threats and restlessness anew. One response is to imagine that we may be craving the wrong things; that we should look elsewhere, perhaps to something more esoteric or high-minded: philosophy or beauty, community or art. 并不是说这些事情无法实现，而是这些事情实现之后我们还是无法停下脚步，安顿下来，感到有足够的庇护，再也不想离开。这些成就都无法给我们一种我们已经到达了对的地方的感觉。我们很快就会再次发现威胁和不安。其中一种反应是会想象我们可能渴望的是错误的东西，我们应该把目光投向别处，也许是一些更深奥或高尚的东西：哲学或美，公众或艺术。But that is just as illusory. It doesn’t matter what goals we have: they will never be enough. Life is simply a process of replacing one anxiety and one desire with another. No goal spares us renewed goal seeking. The only stable element in our lives is craving: the only destination is the journey. 但这也是一种幻觉。我们的目标是什么并不重要：它们都无法让我们满足。生活就是一个把一种焦虑和欲望替换成另一种的过程。没有任何目标能停下我们追求新目标的脚步。我们生活中唯一稳定的元素就是渴望：唯一的归宿就是旅途。What are the implications of fully accepting this ‘Arrival Fallacy’? We can still have ambitions, but we’ll have a certain ironic detachment about what’s actually likely to happen if we fulfill them. We’ll know the itch will start up again soon enough. Knowing the ‘Arrival Fallacy,’ we’ll be subject to illusion, but at least aware of the fact. When we watch others striving, we may experience slightly less envy. It may look as if certain others have reached “there”. But we know they are still longing and worrying up there in the mansions of the rich and the luxury suites of CEOs.那么完全接受到达谬论又意味着什么？我们可能仍有雄心壮志，我们会对在实现它们之后可能发生的事情有某种讽刺性的超然。我们知道很快渴望会再次出现。知道了到达谬误，我们身处幻觉之中，但至少能意识到事实。当我们看到别人努力时，我们的嫉妒感可能会稍微少一些。有些人看起来似乎已经到达了“那里”，但我们知道，在富人的豪宅和首席执行官的办公室里，他们仍在渴望和担忧。We should naturally try to give the journey more attention: we should look out of the window and appreciate the view whenever we can. But we should also understand why this can only ever be a partial solution. Our longing is too powerful a force. The greatest wisdom we’re capable of is to know why true wisdom won’t be fully possible – and instead pride ourselves on having at least a slight oversight on our madness. 我们应该把更多的注意力放在旅程上：我们应该尽可能多的看向窗外，欣赏风景，但我们也应该理解为什么这也只能是一个有局限的解决方案。我们的渴望是一种太强大的力量，我们最大的智慧只能做到知道为什么真正的智慧不可能完全实现，并让我们对自己至少能够稍稍摆脱疯狂而感到自豪。We can accept the ceaselessness of certain anxieties and rather than aim for a yogic, calm state, serenely accept that we will never be definitely calm. Our goal should not be to banish anxiety, but to learn to manage, live well around and – when we can – heartily laugh at, our anxious longing state.我们可以接受某种程度上无休止的焦虑，而不是追求瑜伽式的平静状态。平静地接受我们永远不会绝对平静的事实。我们的目标不应该是消除焦虑，而是学会控制焦虑，好好生活，尽可能的把我们焦急渴望的状态当作一个笑话看待。By The School of Life译：AL、良哥