我们之所以觉得选择很痛苦，是因为我们错误地认为存在一个完美的选择，这个选择能彻底带来快乐又能完全避开痛苦。我们高估了自己的决策能力，而实际上，无论我们怎么选，每个选项都有其优点和缺点，没有哪个选择能完全避免痛苦或确保快乐。一旦我们明白，我们可能就不会那么紧张或者害怕了。毕竟，痛苦和快乐总是伴随着我们，有时候，让命运来决定也未尝不可。A significant and intense chunk of our lives may be spent pondering ‘hard choices.’ Should we continue in our relationship with X or part from them to see who else we might find? But what if we land on no one better? But what if we stay and the relationship never improves?我们生命中很大一部分时间可能都是在纠结于“艰难的选择”。我们应该维持和X的关系，还是选择分开然后另觅新欢？但如果我们新欢不如旧爱怎么办？又或者，如果我们选择继续，但关系始终没有好转呢？Should we buy this property that’s beautiful but worryingly close to the railway tracks? Or should we buy the other one that has a bit less charm but might be quieter? Should we accept this job that has prestige and the possibility of a stellar future? Or should we stay where we are because we love our colleagues and have a high quality of life?再比如，我们是否应该购买靠近铁路、美丽但让人担忧的房产？还是购买另一处不太吸引人但更安静的房产呢？我们是选择那份听起来很有面子、前途无量的工作？还是应该继续现在的工作，因为我们和同事相处得很好，生活也过得挺滋润？Part of the agony of choosing at such moments is that we are in the background consumed by the idea that the ‘wrong choice’ may prove appalling in the extreme and the right choice a route to exceptional fulfilment. But we are perhaps suffering unnecessarily and might find reassurance in the strategic use of two kinds of thinking, alternately optimistic and pessimistic in tone.选择的时刻特别让人纠结，因为我们总担心万一选错了，后果会很严重，而选对了就能得到巨大的满足。但其实我们可能没必要这么焦虑，可以试试用两种思维方式来交替思考：一种是往最好的情况想想，另一种是往最坏的情况想想，这样或许能让我们心里好受一些。To trial the former, we might propose that part of the reason why certain choices feel so hard is that all options on the table have, in truth, something quite good to offer us. The choice is only ‘hard’ because we are having to pick between substantially decent alternatives. We cannot choose because the choices before us are all pretty good.从第一种积极的角度思考，我们之所以觉得选择特别难做，是因为摆在我们面前的每个选项都有它的好处，都相当有吸引力。我们之所以觉得难，是因为我们要从这些好选项里挑一个出来，每个选项都非常好，所以拿不定主意。If we stayed with X, there would be much to celebrate. And if we went off and found someone else, or they would have many charms too. As for the two homes we are judging between, both are really very pleasant in different ways. And the same holds true for our jobs. Whichever option we choose, we will have much to be pleased about.如果我们选择继续留在X身边，会发生很多开心的事。如果我们选择离开X，另觅新欢，新欢也会有很多吸引人的地方。说到我们正在考虑的两套房子，它们各有各的好。工作也是，不管我们怎么选，都会有让我们满意之处。There is equal comfort to be found by running the argument in a pessimistic direction. We are obsessed by the idea that a wise choice is going to help us to prevent a nightmare, but considered soberly, there will be something pretty difficult about every route we choose to go down. We are finding it hard to choose because all options have their unavoidably disappointing dimensions.从第二种悲观的角度思考，我们也能发现点安慰。我们总想着选对了就能避开噩梦般的结果，但仔细想想，不管我们怎么选，每个选择都有些难处。我们之所以觉得选择这么难，是因为每个选择都有不满意之处。X partner can certainly be annoying; but so will Y partner. Pretty much anyone we end up with is going to have their dispiriting sides. There is no dodging the inherent difficulty of everyone. As for property, no house can ever make life perfect.X伴侣确实很烦人，Y伴侣也好不到哪去。基本上，不管我们最后和谁在一起，他们都会有让人不舒服之处。每个人都有自己的难处，这是躲不掉的。说到房子，没有哪套房子能让生活变得完美无缺。A lot of unhappiness will be ours wherever we happen to sleep. No house can spare us certain fundamental agonies of existence. Similarly, the dissatisfactions we know in our present job will have equivalents whatever job we pick. In other words, everything is certain to be a bit awful - a truth we are vainly striving to deny in our furious search for what we think of as the ‘right choice’.无论我们睡在哪间房子，都难免会有些不快乐。没有哪个房子能让我们完全避开生活的基本烦恼。同样，我们现在工作中的不满，换成其他工作也还会有。换句话说，不管我们怎么选，事情总会有那么点儿不满-因为我们拼命想要否认一个真相：我们一直执迷不悟地寻找“正确的选择”。What powers the pain of choice is to a large extent an illusion: the idea of a single solution that can either conclusively deliver happiness or skirt unhappiness. We are exaggerating our agency. Once we recognise that by the time we are spending hours on a choice, anything we choose will be both pretty fine and simultaneously stubbornly somewhat awful too, we may cease to grow either quite so exercised or so terrified. We can afford to rest more easily. We are never far from pain; and we are never far from joy. We might let a roll of the dice decide the rest.选择之所以让人痛苦，很大程度上是因为我们有个巨大的错觉：总觉得有个选择能彻底带来快乐或者完全避开痛苦。我们太高估自己的选择了。一旦我们明白，不管我们花多少时间做选择，最后选出来的结果，既可能不错，也可能有点儿糟糕，我们可能就不会那么紧张或者害怕了。我们可以更安心地放松一些。因为痛苦和快乐其实离我们都不太远。有时候，我们不妨就让命运来决定剩余的事。By The School of Life译：良哥