情绪指导我们的行为，让我们的世界更丰富多彩，能控制情绪的人就可以控制自己的行为，能控制行为的人也能掌控未来更多的事。而掌控情绪意味着能够理解另一种生活的意义，能够看到所有可能发生的事情，可以从不同角度感受、观察、倾听那些你之前没听过的观点。你是一个能够包容不同的思想，适不受周围环境影响的人吗？Emotion is sometimes referred to as the spirit or the breath of life. It prescribes our actions and colors our world. The one who can master the emotions can master actions, and the one who masters actions is the master of all future realities. Today we look at the stories of 2 different men, 2 different world views, 2 different goals, and, ultimately, 2 different paths.情绪有时牵涉心灵或者生命的根本，情绪指导我们的行为，让我们的世界更丰富多彩。能控制情绪的人就可以控制自己的行为，能控制行为的人可以控制未来经历的事。现在我们来看两个不同人的故事，不同的世界观，不同的目标，最后导致不同的发展路径。This is Alexander. He believes that there are two kinds of people in the world: the conquerors and the conquered. If you want to be great, you have to become a conqueror. It’s a dog eat dog world, and only the fit survive. You have to determine who will conquer with you and whom you must conquer. Alexander read a lot as a kid. He fell in love with Greek heroes who displayed the highest virtues: courage and bravery. They were leaders — not followers.这是亚历山大。他认为世界上有两种人：征服者和被征服者。如果你想变成强大的人，你需要成为征服者。这是一个人吃人的社会，适者生存。你需要决定谁和你一起征服世界，谁是你征服的对象。亚历山大小时候读了很多书。他爱上了希腊英雄，他们具有最高的品德，英勇无畏，他们都是领导者而不是追随者。He didn’t have much as a kid and had to work hard for everything he had. This led him to believe that a person's life is the outcome of their actions and that they must take complete responsibility for what happens to them. Physically and intellectually, he held himself to incredibly high standards. There’s no one he wanted to conquer more than himself. One day, he encountered a homeless man. The man asked him for some change.他小时候不具备这种素质，他不得不打工赚钱。因此他认为行动决定一个人的人生，每个人需要承担责任，无论自己遭遇什么。从身理和心理上，他对自己设定了很高的要求。相比战胜其他人他更希望战胜自己。一天他碰到一位流浪汉，那流浪汉向他要点零钱。Alexander knew what he was seeing: a conquered man. How could this man let himself be conquered so badly? How many mistakes must he have made to end up in this position? Why doesn’t he take steps to dig himself out of this hole? Instead, he's taking the lazy way out. He’s trying to take from those who worked hard for what they have. Those who made good decisions should not be punished by those who made bad decisions.亚历山大知道他看到的是一个失败者。这个人怎么会让自己落魄成这样？他犯了多少错误才让他落魄至此？他为什么不采取行动跳出这种困境？而是选择偷懒，希望从那些努力工作的人那里获得帮助。做出正确决定的人不应该因做出错误决定的人而受到惩罚。Alexander knew that if the man wanted to eat, he needed to learn how to fish and not have fish given to him. He became enraged by the man's weakness. “This man won’t get a penny from me,” he thought to himself, “that would only enable his destructive behaviors and poor attitude towards life. By suffering he’ll learn or he’ll die; that’s the way the world works.”亚历山大知道如果这个人想吃东西，他应该自己学会钓鱼，而不是把钓上来的鱼给他。他为这个人的无能而感到愤怒。这人休想从我这里要到一毛钱，他这样想，这只会助长他具有破坏力的行为以及对生活消极的态度。经受痛苦后他会成长或者毁灭，这个世界应该这样运转。This is Joseph. He believes that there are two kinds of people in the world: those who can help and those who need to be helped. His father taught him that the highest good is to serve those who have nothing and to lift them up. Life is difficult, and those who have should serve those who have not. Joseph read a lot as a kid. He fell in love with various spiritual leaders who loved all and lived to serve.这是约瑟夫。他认为世界上有两种人：帮助他人的人和需要帮助的人。他父亲告诉他最高尚的品德是为一无所有的人服务，帮助他们成长。人生不易，富有的人应该帮助贫穷的人。约瑟夫小时候读了很多书。他喜欢形形色色的精神领袖，他们热爱众人，乐于奉献。He grew up quite well off and always felt indebted to those who didn’t. He felt lucky to have everything that he did. One day, he encountered a homeless man. The man asked him for some change. Joseph knew what he was seeing: a completely underserved man.他生长在富裕家庭，总是觉得应该对穷人心存感激。他觉得他能得到很多东西是件幸运的事情。一天他碰到一位无家可归的人，那个人向他要些零钱。约瑟夫知道眼前这个人就是那种需要帮助的人。This man had been abandoned by society. Joseph felt like weeping. “Imagine how much we have failed as a society to let someone get to this point,” he thought to himself, “life is so difficult and full of suffering and based on luck, that anyone of us could end up in his position.” He grabbed some money from his pocket and handed it to the man.社会淘汰了这个人，约瑟夫非常伤心。我们这个社会多么失败，让人落魄至此，他这样想。人生不易，幸运是建立在很多不幸之上，我们每个人都可能落魄至此。他从口袋里掏出一些钱，递给那个人。And so, both stories end here. Both men had unique worldviews shaped by their past experiences. They both perceived the same man in a different light. Where one saw a weak man, the other saw a forsaken man. Their perceptions led them to feel different emotions. Their emotions were heavily affected by what they thought they were seeing. In actuality, both men knew nothing about the homeless man, and they have no idea what led him to his position.两个故事讲完了。两个人的世界观不同，他们过去的经历形成了他们的世界观。他们从不同角度理解同一个人。一个人看到的是一个软弱的人，另一个看到的是一个不幸的人。他们不同的视角让他们产生了不同的情绪。他们的情绪受到他们以为自己看到的现实所影响。实际上，两个人都不了解这个无家可归的人，他们也不知道为什么这个人无家可归。This is often the case in real life. From a young age, both men were surrounded by an invisible structure referred to as culture or environment. The knowledge they grabbed from this structure allows them to navigate the world. Alex grew up in a structure of personality responsibility, of strength & weakness. So he also sees people in this way. It’s all he knows.现实生活中往往有这样的事情。年轻的时候，两个人都受到所谓的文化或环境影响。他们从这种背景中获得的知识指引他们的生活。亚历山大的成长背景是崇尚个人承担责任，无论成功还是失败。所以他也这样看待周围的人，他就知道这种方式。Joseph grew up in a structure of collective responsibility, of the needy & the fortunate.So he also sees people in this way. It’s all he knows. For both men, emotions are tools. In Alex’s world, anger is a useful tool that allows him to become strong — his highest ideal. In Joseph’s world, compassion is a useful tool that allows you to become a giver — his highest ideal.约瑟夫的成长背景是崇尚集体承担责任，无论贫穷还是富有。所以他也这样看待周围的人，他就知道这种方式。对他们两人来说情绪是工具。在亚历山大的世界中，愤怒作为一种工具使他强大，强大是他所崇尚的最高品德。在约瑟夫的世界中，同情作为一种工具使他愿意付出，愿意付出是他所崇尚的最高品德。One might wonder, if you could change the invisible structure that surrounds these men, if they reversed the books they read or the family that they had, would they perceive the world differently? If they perceive the world differently, would they feel differently? The master of emotions, then, is the one who can alter the invisible structure around them. This allows them to gather a diverse set of concepts which allows them to see the same scenario in different ways. They would be neither Alexander or Joseph. They would be both. They could become either one depending on the circumstances.有人可能会想，如果能改变他们的成长背景，他们周围的环境，如果交换他们读的书，如果交换他们的家庭，他们看世界的角度会不同吗？如果他们看世界的角度不同，他们的感受会不同吗？能够掌控情绪的人，就是那些可以改变周围环境的人。这样他们能够包容不同的思想，从不同角度看待同一件事情。他们不是亚历山大也不是约瑟夫，而是他们两人的结合体。他们可以成为两人中的任何一个，由当时的环境决定。Take a look at this image. What shapes do you see? You’d probably say a bunch of 3/4 circles and a square. Technically, there’s actually no square there. It’s simply a byproduct of how the 3/4 circles are arranged. But that doesn’t change the fact that you’ll always see it there because you’re familiar with the concept of a square. If you never learned what a square was, you’d never see it there in the image.来看这幅图。你看到什么形状？你可能看到几个四分之三的圆形和一个正方形。从技术层面上这里没有正方形，只是四分之三圆排列的结果。但这改变不了一个事实，那就是你看到一个正方形，因为你对正方形的概念很熟悉。如果你从来没学过正方形，你就看不到正方形了。There’s a layer of meaning hidden in the negative space. Emotional mastery is about perceiving multiple layers of meaning in the negative space of life. It’s about seeing all of the potential realities that could exist. It’s about looking at a homeless man and seeing that his position could be a byproduct of his personal decisions or the byproduct of a cultural failure.这层意义隐藏在另一个空间中。掌控情绪就是能够理解另一种生活的意义，能够看到所有可能发生的事情，能够看到一位无家可归的人，他之所以无家可归，是因为他个人原因导致，或者是环境不好导致。What I’m not saying is that these men can think different thoughts and change their emotions in the moment. But, they can experience a different worldview now, so they see differently in the future. They can find new ways of seeing or interacting with old things and all they need to do is listen — listen to the world in its many forms. Had they listened to one another's perspectives, or asked the homeless man for his perspective, they might have seen the whole situation in a new light.我不是说他们可以有不同的想法，瞬间改变他们的情绪。但是他们现在可以感受不同的世界观，将来看事情角度就会不一样。他们能够找到新方式与过去的思想交流，他们要做的就是倾听，倾听不同形式的世界。他们听了其他人的想法吗？或者问了无家可归的人怎么想了吗？如果他们听了就会从一个全新的视角看待这件事情。As we conclude, let’s return to this image. You probably think that there's nothing more to this image than the 3/4 circles and the square. But what if I told you that this is actually just one shape: a rectangle with 4-3/4 circles removed from it. It’s called a FiT rectangle. Just by listening, you now have a new way of perceiving these patterns which was invisible to you before — a new layer of meaning.让我们总结一下，回到这幅图上。你可能觉得这幅图上除了四分之三圆和正方形没有其他图形。但是如果我告诉你这幅图上是一个长方形去掉四个四分之三圆呢？这叫做FiT长方形。听我这么一说，你看到了一种新的图形，过去你没听过的一层新意义。So, how does one master the emotions? By listening, but more importantly, listening to points of view that they haven’t heard before or that are contrary to their own. To feel differently, they have to see differently. To see differently, they have to gain knowledge that they don’t have. To gain knowledge that they don’t have, they have to experience new things. I think Joseph Campbell said it best, "The very cave you are afraid to enter turns out to be the source of what you are looking for." This video was based on my best understanding of Dr. Lisa Feldman Barrett’s "theory of constructed emotion" which I talked about in another video. I put a link to it in the description.那么如何掌控情绪呢？善于倾听，尤为重要的是倾听那些你之前没听过的观点，或者与你相反的观点。从不同角度感受，从不同角度观察。从不同角度观察，就需要学新知识。学新知识，就要接触新事物。我认为约瑟夫·坎贝尔概括得很好，你不愿意跳进去的那个洞，就是你要找的那个洞。本视频基于我对丽莎·费尔德曼·巴雷特构建情绪理论的理解，我在另一个视频中介绍过。我把链接放在视频介绍中了。标题：The Most Powerful Way to Think | First PrinciplesBy Freedom In Thought译：Beth、良哥